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“Until the Dance & Skin Sales Improve, the Firings Will Continue”: We Interviewed Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney

“Until the Dance & Skin Sales Improve, the Firings Will Continue”: We Interviewed Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney

Press "Enter" to skip to content BY Ron Portman ON October 4, 2023Epic Games, creators of smash hit Fortnite, as well as the controversial Epic Games Store, recently caused headlines by being the latest gaming giant to announce layoffs and terminations among its large staff. We spoke to Epic Games founder and CEO Tim Sweeney about the decision. We’re having our annual ‘CEO Winter Excursion’ where we meet up at a resort in Alaska and throw wads of cash at each other like they’re snowballs.Rotten timing. It was fun being the good guy while it lasted!Oh, that’s plenty of time. That’s like...

Oct 4
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Why I'm Never Buying Another Pokémon Game Ever Again Until the Next One

Why I'm Never Buying Another Pokémon Game Ever Again Until the Next One

Press "Enter" to skip to content BY Patrick Sullivan ON October 4, 2023I’m a diehard Pokémon fan. Not to exaggerate, but I’m probably the biggest fan ever if I’m being honest. When a new Pokémon-anything comes out, I’m there and pre-ordered it six months ago. However, following the last Pokémon release, I don’t think I can support this company anymore until they release another game.I haven’t played a more buggy, glitch-ridden, sad excuse for a Pokémon game since the last one came out. Frankly, the only reason I tried this one out was because it looked like they had learned the lessons of...

Oct 4
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Apple Announces Plan to Reduce Waste by Not Including iPhone in Box

Apple Announces Plan to Reduce Waste by Not Including iPhone in Box

Press "Enter" to skip to content BY Saad Khan ON October 4, 2023CUPERTINO, Calif. — After a slate of environmental initiatives such as no longer including wall chargers with new iPhone purchases, Apple recently announced they would be taking their initiatives one step further: removing the carbon footprint of the iPhone entirely by no longer including it in the box when customers purchase one.“We started our campaign to save the environment by removing the wall charger,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook, loading a stack of solid gold bars into a safe in his office. “That greatly reduced our cost. To...

Oct 4
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Top Ten 'Mortal Kombat 1' Fatalities Ranked By How Awkward the Funeral Would Be

Top Ten 'Mortal Kombat 1' Fatalities Ranked By How Awkward the Funeral Would Be

Press "Enter" to skip to content BY Garrison DeSieno ON October 3, 2023Mortal Kombat 1 rewrites the history of the Mortal Kombat Universe, introducing a new timeline and catapulting the franchise into the future. However, despite the change in story and scenery, one thing remains the same: a lot of people die in this game. Dating back to 1992, the Mortal Kombat fatalities have become some of the most iconic deaths in video game history. But what happens after the screen fades to black? What becomes of the slain foe? And what would their loved ones think of their brutal demise? These are the...

Oct 3
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That’s a Relief: 'Starfield' Raiders Using Correct Pronouns Whilst Attempting To Kill Main Character

That’s a Relief: 'Starfield' Raiders Using Correct Pronouns Whilst Attempting To Kill Main Character

Press "Enter" to skip to content BY Alex McMillan ON October 3, 2023ALPHA CENTAURI — A group of raiders aboard a derelict space station have opened fire upon the protagonist of Bethesda’s Starfield, whilst being sure to pronoun them correctly, according to local reports.“Watch out, they’ve got fragment grenades! We’ve gotta take that scumbag down” said Spacer captain Hodge Gulder. “They’re over there, reloading their laser pistol! Time to make you wish you were never born, asshole!”When questioned about the incident after the player character had fled successfully, the wounded captain spoke...

Oct 3
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Alex McMillan

Alex McMillan

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Garrison DeSieno

Garrison DeSieno

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Patrick Sullivan

Patrick Sullivan

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Ron Portman

Ron Portman

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Saad Khan

Saad Khan

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