You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Las Vegas Raiders. It finally happened. After 25 years in Oakland—the Raiders’ longest tenure in one place—they’re moving to Vegas for the kind of glitzy has-been residency that the city has been trying to will into extinction ever since Liberace died. Ah but Vegas’s addiction to overpriced nostalgia is NOTHING compared...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Las Vegas Raiders. It finally happened. After 25 years in Oakland—the Raiders’ longest tenure in one place—they’re moving to Vegas for the kind of glitzy has-been residency that the city has been trying to will into extinction ever since Liberace died. Ah but Vegas’s addiction to overpriced nostalgia is NOTHING compared...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Los Angeles Chargers. I’m almost used to it! I only call them San Diego eight out of 10 times lately! Incredible progress. It’s practically second nature to me now.Your 2019 record: 5-11. Ten of those 11 losses were by 10 points or fewer. Even in purgatory, the Chargers REFUSE to be anything but...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Los Angeles Chargers. I’m almost used to it! I only call them San Diego eight out of 10 times lately! Incredible progress. It’s practically second nature to me now.Your 2019 record: 5-11. Ten of those 11 losses were by 10 points or fewer. Even in purgatory, the Chargers REFUSE to be anything but...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Dallas Cowboys.Your 2019 record: 8-8. The Cowboys beat a grand total of two teams that ended the season with winning records, and those teams each went 9-7 and failed to make the playoffs. When the Cowboys DID play a real team, well…Tells you something that God Himself prefers the fucking PATRIOTS to the...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Dallas Cowboys.Your 2019 record: 8-8. The Cowboys beat a grand total of two teams that ended the season with winning records, and those teams each went 9-7 and failed to make the playoffs. When the Cowboys DID play a real team, well…Tells you something that God Himself prefers the fucking PATRIOTS to the...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Detroit Lions.Your 2019 record: 3-12-1. That tie came in Week 1 against Arizona, a game in which the Lions were A) facing a rookie QB playing his first game as a professional, and B) up 24-6 going into the fourth quarter. They still fucked themselves with a pickaxe. They also cost themselves the No. 2 pick in the process.You’re not...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Detroit Lions.Your 2019 record: 3-12-1. That tie came in Week 1 against Arizona, a game in which the Lions were A) facing a rookie QB playing his first game as a professional, and B) up 24-6 going into the fourth quarter. They still fucked themselves with a pickaxe. They also cost themselves the No. 2 pick in the process.You’re not...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Pittsburgh Steelers.Your 2019 record: 8-8. Who never beat a playoff team all season long? Who refused to deal Antonio Brown to New England, traded him to Oakland, and watched him end up in New England anyway? Who forced five takeaways against ? Who had their backup QB get his ass beat with his own...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Pittsburgh Steelers.Your 2019 record: 8-8. Who never beat a playoff team all season long? Who refused to deal Antonio Brown to New England, traded him to Oakland, and watched him end up in New England anyway? Who forced five takeaways against ? Who had their backup QB get his ass beat with his own...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Comrade Magary’s magnum oh-piss has been a part of the landscape of the Old Internet for years now, and has been stolen by many people more responsible and less feral since then. But there’s a new squalid little alleyway of the New Internet, and that alleyway is us, so Magary’s bilious monument to this stupid sport is back, and in moderate rebuttal (since most of the points made in his epic are largely verifiable), here is Why Your Team Maybe Doesn’t Suck Quite As Much As Drew Says It Does—because you can’t say Defector without “defect.” Or...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Comrade Magary’s magnum oh-piss has been a part of the landscape of the Old Internet for years now, and has been stolen by many people more responsible and less feral since then. But there’s a new squalid little alleyway of the New Internet, and that alleyway is us, so Magary’s bilious monument to this stupid sport is back, and in moderate rebuttal (since most of the points made in his epic are largely verifiable), here is Why Your Team Maybe Doesn’t Suck Quite As Much As Drew Says It Does—because you can’t say Defector without “defect.” Or...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: AND YOU GET A TIGHT END AND YOU GET A TIGHT END AND YOU GET A TIGHT ENDYour 2019 record: Gonna pull a GREGGGGGGGGGGG here and paste what I wrote about the Bears prior to last season:“Imagine having your window of opportunity burst open and then cruelly slam shut all in the course of just one season. It’s possible! It’s possible...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: AND YOU GET A TIGHT END AND YOU GET A TIGHT END AND YOU GET A TIGHT ENDYour 2019 record: Gonna pull a GREGGGGGGGGGGG here and paste what I wrote about the Bears prior to last season:“Imagine having your window of opportunity burst open and then cruelly slam shut all in the course of just one season. It’s possible! It’s possible...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Los Angeles Rams. It’s highly amusing the Rams were more relevant in St. Louis than they are in L.A. That’s the exact opposite dynamic of what every other American who has made that move ever experienced.Your 2019 record: 9-7. Remember when the Rams’ offense got annihilated in the Super Bowl two years ago and everyone...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Los Angeles Rams. It’s highly amusing the Rams were more relevant in St. Louis than they are in L.A. That’s the exact opposite dynamic of what every other American who has made that move ever experienced.Your 2019 record: 9-7. Remember when the Rams’ offense got annihilated in the Super Bowl two years ago and everyone...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Cincinnati Bengals.Oh no it’s not.Your 2019 record: 2-14, kicking off with 11 losses in a row. And lemme tell you something: if this team had gone the Full Diarrhea and gone 0-16 last season, no one on earth would have given a shit. When the Lions did it, it was new and exciting! Like amputating one of your own testicles!...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far Your team: Cincinnati Bengals.Oh no it’s not.Your 2019 record: 2-14, kicking off with 11 losses in a row. And lemme tell you something: if this team had gone the Full Diarrhea and gone 0-16 last season, no one on earth would have given a shit. When the Lions did it, it was new and exciting! Like amputating one of your own testicles!...WW…

You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so farYour team: Miami Dolphins.Unfortunately for you guys, they did.Your 2019 record: 5-11. The Dolphins did everything they could to lay the groundwork for an 0-16 season. It was admirable, really. They hired a former Pats assistant as head man, which is always a death wish. They traded for Josh Rosen, who can’t play. They opened...…You need to enable JavaScript to view this site.Sign InSubscribeSome people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so farYour team: Miami Dolphins.Unfortunately for you guys, they did.Your 2019 record: 5-11. The Dolphins did everything they could to lay the groundwork for an 0-16 season. It was admirable, really. They hired a former Pats assistant as head man, which is always a death wish. They traded for Josh Rosen, who can’t play. They opened...WW…