Name: Column: Biden picks Kamala Harris. Trump should dump Mike Pence and replace him with a yacht.
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Column: Biden picks Kamala Harris. Trump should dump Mike Pence and replace him with a yacht.

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AdvertisementBy Chicago TribuneAug 12, 2020 at 5:00 amPresumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden’s decision to choose Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate leaves President Donald “Scared” Trump with little choice — he needs to dump Vice President Mike Pence.I know, it’s a shame for both Trump and Pence. The two seemed like a match made in a strange and wildly inaccurate version of heaven.AdvertisementBut Trump will see the fanfare the Harris pick brings — she’s an energetic and experienced lawmaker, a former prosecutor and attorney general, and the first woman of color on a major party ticket — and then he’ll look over at Pence and see a man as electrifying as a dollop of mayonnaise.For a president who spends most of his time watching TV or tweeting about things he saw on TV, the telegenic Harris will be too much to bear.AdvertisementSure, the Trump campaign will start out, as it did moments after Biden’s announcement of his vice presidential pick Tuesday, with attempts to smear Harris for having “embraced the left’s radical manifesto” (speaking of which, someone send me the manifesto, I didn’t get it) and suggesting she will help Biden “surrender control of our nation to the radical mob” and “open our borders” and “appease socialist dictators.”But Harris presents a problem for those whose thinking has been impaired by Fox News overexposure. She’s not a radical leftist of any sort. She’s a former prosecutor who, if anything, has a prosecutorial background that bothers the far left. A presidential primary campaign and years of public service mean she’s already well-vetted, and her energy and relative youth compared with Biden, and with Trump, for that matter, will give the campaign a spark.She doesn’t suffer fools lightly and won’t be easy for Trump to pin down with demeaning nicknames or sexist swipes. I’m not saying Harris is perfect, or Biden is an unstoppable force. Not even close.But Harris is a smart pick, and she’ll give Biden the thing Trump craves most: attention.That will drive President Me-Me-Me nuts, and you can bet your membership to Mar-a-Lago that come the next round of not-so-great poll numbers, he’ll start seeing Pence’s personality — one part lightly salted mashed potatoes, one part guy whose faux-piety makes you kind of squirmy — as a liability.And don’t think Pence is indispensable. Trump needed him the first time around to reassure/con evangelical voters into overlooking his history of being a womanizer, a foul-mouthed bully and, well, a Democrat. But Trump has fully Trumpnotized evangelicals. They’ve bitten the Trump-branded apple and he could pick the lyrics to a Marilyn Manson song as his running mate without losing voters.Imagine the possible ways Trump could spice up his campaign by ditching Milquetoast Mike and firing up his addicted-to-being-fired-up base.The most noted possibility is former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley, but she seems tied up lately in a dispute with The Popcorn Factory, an Illinois-based company that apparently messed up some delivery orders.AdvertisementHaley tweeted Monday: “Ok @PopcornFactory two messed up birthday orders missed delivery dates with no explanation. First time I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Second one tells me not to buy from you again. #DisappointedNephew.”She’s clearly not in a good position to join the Trump campaign right now. Thoughts and prayers.But there are other sensible vice presidential suggestions to help get the Trump Train chugging:The bottom line is that Democratic excitement over Biden’s choice of Harris has to be met with something splashy. And you couldn’t make Pence splashy if you threw him off a Riviera 6000 Sport Yacht.So go for it, Mr. President. Dump Mike and find the running mate of your reality television dreams. I hear Kanye’s available.rhuppke@chicagotribune.com Advertisement

AdvertisementBy Chicago TribuneAug 12, 2020 at 5:00 amPresumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden’s decision to choose Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate leaves President Donald “Scared” Trump with little choice — he needs to dump Vice President Mike Pence.I know, it’s a shame for both Trump and Pence. The two seemed like a match made in a strange and wildly inaccurate version of heaven.AdvertisementBut Trump will see the fanfare the Harris pick brings — she’s an energetic and experienced lawmaker, a former prosecutor and attorney general, and the first woman of color on a major party...

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Rex Huppke writes a humor(ish) column. He is considered (by himself) to be America’s most-beloved columnist, though there is no empirical evidence of that. Before becoming a columnist he spent a decade reporting on social justice issues, from poverty and gang violence to the gay civil rights movement. He previously worked for The Associated Press.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/chinews-ask-rex-huppke-i-just-work-20130507-staff.html#nt=byline

Rex Huppke

The Chicago Tribune is a daily newspaper based in Chicago, Illinois, United States, owned by Tribune Publishing. Founded in 1847, and formerly self-styled as the "World's Greatest Newspaper" (a slogan for which WGN radio and television are named), it remains the most-read daily newspaper of the Chicago metropolitan area and the Great Lakes region. It had the 6th highest circulation for American newspapers in 2017.

Column: Biden picks Kamala Harris. Trump should dump Mike Pence and replace him with a yacht.

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