Name: Opinion: Fighting COVID-19 almost did me in; please stay safe
Brand: oregonlive.com
SKU: oregonlive-com-84
Availability: OnlineOnly

critic

Opinion: Fighting COVID-19 almost did me in; please stay safe

preview

NEW!6,267sharesTania Culver HumphreyHumphrey is an artist who lives with her family in Portland.When I got COVID-19, I wanted to be positive. I shared photos of my feet, of my pajama legs, of my view. Cute dog photos.I didn't share what it was really like. I was too scared.Now, as Oregon starts to open up, hearing the voices about should we or shouldn't we, I just feel like shouting, finally, not being quiet -- just shouting to make the chatter stop. Some of you know my story of childhood abuse by my father, MercyCorps co-founder Ellsworth Culver, when I told so many people, and no one listened to me.Listen to me, now. Please.I’m a healthy, fit, 49-year-old. Ten weeks ago, I was attending Zumba classes three times a week and taking long walks. But my experience having COVID-19 shut down my world and my voice. I have never been so sick. It hit my body and my everything with the most massive smackdown. I hung my head, like OK, OK, whatever you want. I waited for the next blow, trembling until it hit and then waited again for worse.When I think back to the past eight weeks, when I was posting things like the view from my bed, I wasn’t sharing the truth. It was too scary. On that same bed, I spent days curled up in a literal pool of sweat with my pjs soaked through. I was shaking, crying, shivering -- sometimes coughing so hard I would dry heave.My blood pressure shot up, and my heart raced, pounding even when I was just lying down desperately trying to find the will to breathe. Some days, the biggest effort I could muster was walking to the bathroom, my hand on the wall to hold me up so I didn't fall on the way, blood pounding in my head.My eyes burned, pink and irritated. My body ached, and I was both too hot and shivering cold.I heard a crackling sound when I breathed that sounded like illness ... not just sick ... ill.I could still breathe, or at least I figured I could since I was still alive. My doctor checked on me through many video calls. I tested negative at first, then later tested positive for coronavirus antibodies.My whole world was my bed and my will to keep going, one moment at a time. I set the alarm on my phone every hour and forced myself to drink water. It took so much effort just to lift my armI coughed and coughed and coughed. My chest felt like an elephant had stepped on it and my lungs felt that they were somehow cemented together. It felt like breathing through a straw, or, on good days, a snorkel.I was too weak to stand in the shower. I lay on the floor of the tub, curled up on my side to breathe in the steam or wash my hair. I pulled it together to get out because I was so light-headed I was terrified I'd pass out and somehow drown in the tub. I immediately lay back down on the bathroom floor again until I could slowly stand up and make it back to the bed.I didn't think about how fast my heart had to race to get that air into my body.I cried, many times.I cried from fear, knowing that there were times I needed help, but no one really knew how to help me. I cried from being isolated -- the doctor's offices were closed and everyone was especially scared of you. I cried because I was scared of them, too, and the hospitals were scary and seemed like a death sentence.I realized I could die -- I felt like I could really die -- several times.I couldn't think; literally, it was hard to think. I was losing words.It's been eight weeks. A recent test shows I have the COVID-19 antibodies. I am no longer contagious. But I'm not well.I have been ordered to sleep nine to 12 hours a night and take naps. If I push too hard, my heart races more the next day and I backslide. I go for short, very slow walks, and I sit on the curb and rest a lot. I build back tiny bits at a time. I'll be going in for an electrocardiogram to check why my heart rate still surges sometimes.I have an urgent referral appointment with neurology, because COVID-19 has been giving healthy young people like me ministrokes.So I haven't really been sharing the truth of this experience on Facebook. But, now, I want to contribute to the conversation. I want people to understand what we are really talking about when we debate about the risks we are willing to take. Some cases are mild. Some, like mine, are not.I hope people take just a few minutes to reflect. And then let’s go outside and enjoy the world, safely, full of gratitude and doing the best we can to act and live with love for the ones (literally) beside us.Share your opinionSubmit your essay of 500-700 words on a highly topical issue or a theme of particular relevance to the Pacific Northwest, Oregon and the Portland area to commentary@oregonian.com. Please include your email and phone number for verification.Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.

NEW!6,267sharesTania Culver HumphreyHumphrey is an artist who lives with her family in Portland.When I got COVID-19, I wanted to be positive. I shared photos of my feet, of my pajama legs, of my view. Cute dog photos.I didn't share what it was really like. I was too scared.Now, as Oregon starts to open up, hearing the voices about should we or shouldn't we, I just feel like shouting, finally, not being quiet -- just shouting to make the chatter stop. Some of you know my story of childhood abuse by my father, MercyCorps co-founder Ellsworth Culver, when I told so many people, and no one...

public

Guest Columnist | The Oregonian

This is no longer an active account. Please follow @Oregonian for Portland and Oregon news. We look forward to engaging with you there!

Opinion: Fighting COVID-19 almost did me in; please stay safe

No article scores yet.

CRITIC REVIEWS

PUBLIC REVIEWS