Name: My “Thin” Skin
Brand: amandaactually.com
SKU: amandaactually-com-2
Availability: OnlineOnly

critic

My “Thin” Skin

preview

I spent a few glorious months working at a podcast studio out near the Hill Country. It was as close to a dream job I’ve been in years considering that I do not “dream” of labor. It was challenging, doing something I love, I got to be creative, I got to be me.&nbsp;
Except for the immense financial issues that lead up to me leaving just a few months after starting; there was one other issue that was increasingly difficult to swallow: my boss.&nbsp;
Now, I rarely name names and specify locations. I don’t do this for grand reasons of being “considerate” or “kind” or because I’m worried about my career. I do this because I just don’t like giving these people more attention. They don’t deserve it.&nbsp;
But for the sake of the post and the sake of understanding, we’ll just refer to the very toxic power dynamic at the studio as this. I had a boss and a big boss. My boss was older than me by nearly a decade, a veteran and a nerdy somewhat average white guy. His dad, the big boss, was an older rich white man who clearly has never had to have a complex thought in his life and was a literal military contractor.&nbsp;&nbsp;
While working there, my big boss regularly condescended to me. He told me I was overthinking things that clearly required more thought. The microaggressions were almost too numerous to count; my “favorite” of them being when I was telling a story to my boss and the intern (another white man, I was literally the only person of color for the company and certainly the only person of color with “power” between the two businesses owned by the big boss) and the big boss asked if I was “agitated or animated”. The angry black woman is a stereotype that has limited and harmed black women for centuries. And when I respectfully said he was disrespectful in asking me such a question, he doubled down and condescended to me further!&nbsp;
I regularly had my expertise challenged and was frequently not listened to and after one meeting, after being frustrated and hurt, I finally cried and told my boss that I would quit if I was spoken to so poorly again. That’s when my boss said the words that got me to write this post. These words, that have been stuck in my craw for months, were “I guess I just have a thicker skin.”&nbsp;
These words were a longtime coming. I’ve been in the creative field for next to a decade. I’ve had sexist bosses, racist bosses, faced unimaginable comments in the workplace. I took all of them with grace and a painted on smile. I sat patiently and quietly and accepted it because that’s what work, especially in the advertising world meant. It meant accepting sexism and racism and homophobia. It meant having to be “one of the guys” and deal with questions about my education, expertise, who I was seeing, my sexuality and my skin.&nbsp;
The last few years of my professional career have been a radical shift not just in societal expectations workers have for their bosses but a radical change in how I feel about how those in positions of power treat me and talk to me. I have become likely the least white hegemonic I have ever been. I am happy to call out sexism and racism and that has absolutely negatively impacted my ability to hold a job. I no longer think of work as something that defines me but something that pays for me to do all the things that define me. I am the most pro-union, pro worker’s rights, anti-capitalist version of myself.&nbsp;
When my boss said that, his intention was for me to take it as a means of “comfort” after threatening to leave over mistreatment and tried to imply that I simply was too sensitive and shouldn’t let such things “get to me”. I took that comment on the chin for a bit. I retreated to my office, wiped my tears and got back to work. But the longer I thought about it, the longer I thought about myself, and the longer I thought about what was said: I went back into my boss’ office.&nbsp;
I asked my boss to sit down and talk with me and I told him plainly and simply:
“I am a black AFAB (assigned female at birth) queer person on the Internet. I have a thick skin. But that doesn’t mean I should tolerate mistreatment.”&nbsp;
I had gotten so used to abuse, mistreatment, racism, sexism and the like while at work that I simply no longer find it okay to accept that kind of treatment. It wasn’t that I had a thin skin, it was that I was no longer willing to be spoon-fed the lie that capitalism tells us that allows bosses and managers to regularly disrespect their employees.&nbsp;
Is there room to still be professional and polite while not taking shit? Absolutely. And I’m happy to admit, I have not always been the most tactful in finding a balance between the me that is fundamentally and radically desperate to see the entire system of work and labor change and the me that was intentionally quiet, polite, prompt and hypercompetent because I knew as a black woman I had to be more, do more and work harder just to receive acknowledgement for my efforts.&nbsp;
But tact is another tool oppressors use to keep dissident comments down. There is no polite way to tell someone they’re being racist or sexist. There is no polite way to be told a racist or sexist statement. There is no politeness in racism. It is uncomfortable, awkward and painful. And that burden of pain has too long been on the shoulders of POC rather than the hegemony that continues to support systems that reinforce the status quo.&nbsp;&nbsp;
So that’s a post about being “thin” skinned, my changing views on the workplace and how the world has and needs to change.&nbsp;
Thank you for reading.&nbsp;

I spent a few glorious months working at a podcast studio out near the Hill Country. It was as close to a dream job I’ve been in years considering that I do not “dream” of labor. It was challenging, doing something I love, I got to be creative, I got to be me.&nbsp;
Except for the immense financial issues that lead up to me leaving just a few months after starting; there was one other issue that was increasingly difficult to swallow: my boss.&nbsp;
Now, I rarely name names and specify locations. I don’t do this for grand reasons of being “considerate” or “kind” or because I’m worried about...

My “Thin” Skin

No article scores yet.

CRITIC REVIEWS

PUBLIC REVIEWS