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Do you know where your kids go every day?

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Share this postjonathanhaidt.substack.comUsing moral psychology to explain why so much is going wrongOver 46,000 subscribersContinue readingSign in Rikki Schlott and Jon HaidtNov 6, 2023293Share this postjonathanhaidt.substack.com85ShareAfter Babelcollapse of the Tower of Babel, around 2014the democracy crisisThe Teen Mental Illness Epidemic Began Around 2012Suicide Rates Are Up for Gen Z Across the Anglosphere, Especially for GirlsThe Anxious Generationyou can pre-order nowall of our review documents hereabout fromDo the Kids Think They’re Alright?The Canceling of the American MindHere’s my ForewordThe Coddlingregular columns at the New York PostIn her haunting essay below, Rikki helps us older folk understand what happened to her generation when their social lives moved onto smartphones. Adolescents were taken away somewhere, and many have not yet come back.&nbsp;— Jon People often ask me to explain their kids to them.&nbsp; They are baffled by the children that they raised and yet somehow do not know.It sounds impossible and yet makes sense—considering that the hours their kids spent under the same roof were also spent in a maze of digital crevices. Parents always expected that their sons and daughters would soon return from the dark side of the dreaded adolescent years, but more and more seem afraid that their children will never come back from wherever it is they’re going.These are strangers in their own home.Why are my kids so anxious and depressed? Where do they go all day on their devices? How can I get them back?If you’re a parent wondering the same, I hope I can be an intermediary for you. I understand the desperation that leads parents to ask me — an older Zoomer whose iPhone has been an appendage since age 10 — to help them understand. I am on the leading edge of a tidal wave of digital natives entering adulthood with harrowing stories to share. So I’ll take my best shot at explaining the malaise of my generation.Gen Z has inherited a post-hope world, stripped of what matters. Instead, we have been offered a smorgasbord of easy and unsatisfying substitutes.All the things that have traditionally made life worth living — love, community, country, faith, work, and family — have been “debunked.”&nbsp;Sentiments I hear often from peers:Love — “Monogamy is so outdated.”Community — “I have enough friends online.”Country — “I’m embarrassed to be an American.”Work — “I’m quiet-quitting.”Family — “I’m not bringing kids into this melting world.”Faith — “My parents are such naive Bible thumpers. By the way, what’s your star sign?”Everything that matters has been devalued for Zoomers, leaving behind a generation with gaping holes where the foundations of a meaningful life should be. They’re desperately grasping for alternative purpose-making systems, all of which fall short.I’m not saying all Zoomers should become church-going office drones who churn out babies and never question their country. But our dismal mental health records and the scars on our wrists seem to indicate that becoming faithless digital vagabonds is just not working out for us.agree with statementsSomething is clearly wrong. Gen Z is quietly begging for help. Naturally, the opportunists have swarmed in with ready-made plugs to fill our voids and make us “whole.”Do you feel isolated? Why don’t you take a peek at what all your peers are doing on social media, or just make digital friends on message boards — all without leaving your bed!Are you struggling in love? How about a paralyzing stream of commodified potential partners to swipe through on a dating app. You can cycle through as many transactional relationships as you please!Are you lacking positive role models? How about a voyeuristic trip into an influencer’s live-streamed morning routine. Or a self-appointed life coach with lots of opinions and no real expertise.Has your faith waned? Just hook your identity to a pseudo-religious political ideology. Spluttering commentators stand ready to lead you down rabbit holes, until the only people you see eye-to-eye with are extremists on the other side of a screen.The quick-fixes on offer are endless — and enormously profitable for the influencers, app developers, and social media masters who have seduced perforated Zoomers with the possibility of feeling whole again.But one panacea on the snake oil salesman’s menu is more dangerous and alluring than any other.Are you bored? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Just thinking too much? Try an algorithmic waterfall of quick-hit content, made just for you.Open TikTok and hand over the reins of your brain to our secret algorithm! You don’t even have to do the work of choosing your own adventure; we’ll figure out what you most want.It’s a tasting menu of the full range of human emotions — a 15-second sound-bite of your favorite comedian, a soldier returning home to an enthusiastic dog, a tone-deaf take from a political foe.&nbsp;Laugh, cry, seethe, repeat.&nbsp;justanotherhighest it has ever beenSomething happened to Gen ZshownrepeatedlyAfter Babelan average9 hours dailyIs it any wonder that kids today are strangers to the people who raised them?That’s how I explain kids to their parents. * * * * * * *Parents also ask me for solutions.If there’s one thing I’ve learned from talking to my fellow Zoomers, it’s that we almost unanimously recognize the damage our smartphones have done. I’ve never heard someone say, “I still hate my mom for not letting me get a phone until I was 13.”My suggestion: delay. Wait until high school to give them a phone. (As Jon recommends, you can give them a flip phone before that.) Wait even longer to let them have an Instagram or TikTok account. The resentment is temporary. They’ll thank you later.I still hold out hope that parents, educators, researchers, and Zoomers can work together to reconfigure technology’s role in childhood.&nbsp;We were the guinea pigs of the digital age. Our suffering should inspire solutions, lest it be in vain.Postscript from Jon HaidtIf you are a member of Gen Z, born after 1995, and you disagree either with this post or with the story I’ve been telling about your generation, please say so in the comments section. We’ll be collecting dissenting views and inviting critics to write for the Substack.293Share this postjonathanhaidt.substack.com85SharePreviousNextA guest post byRikki SchlottAuthor of "The Canceling of the American Mind"New York Post ColumnistResident Zoomer85 CommentsShare this discussionjonathanhaidt.substack.comExpand full comment4 repliesExpand full comment4 replies83 more comments...TopNewCommunityNo postsReady for more?© 2023 Jonathan HaidtPrivacyTermsCollection notice Start WritingGet the appSubstack is the home for great writingThis site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts

Share this postjonathanhaidt.substack.comUsing moral psychology to explain why so much is going wrongOver 46,000 subscribersContinue readingSign in Rikki Schlott and Jon HaidtNov 6, 2023293Share this postjonathanhaidt.substack.com85ShareAfter Babelcollapse of the Tower of Babel, around 2014the democracy crisisThe Teen Mental Illness Epidemic Began Around 2012Suicide Rates Are Up for Gen Z Across the Anglosphere, Especially for GirlsThe Anxious Generationyou can pre-order nowall of our review documents hereabout fromDo the Kids Think They’re Alright?The Canceling of the American MindHere’s...

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