Name: A Rae of sunshine: Leader of Racine's LGBT community remembered for advocacy, humor, welcoming nature
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A Rae of sunshine: Leader of Racine's LGBT community remembered for advocacy, humor, welcoming nature

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No credit card required.You are the owner of this article.You have permission to edit this article.© 2020 Lee EnterprisesA Rae of sunshine: Leader of Racine's LGBT community remembered for advocacy, humor, welcoming natureShare thisEditor’s note: This story discusses suicide and may not be suitable for all readers.RACINE — When Rae Antczak was in second grade, he told his mother, Arian Rana (Adair-Nichols), that he felt he had to do something kind for somebody every day to feel good.While others saw that as adorable and incredibly sweet, it worried Rana.“He felt like he constantly had to fight to validate himself,” she said. “I wanted him to believe that he had a right to be here and be himself.”This was the first instance that told Rana he was struggling — perhaps it was the first sign of depression, something he was diagnosed with later in life.Born Aug. 20, 1999, Antczak eventually transitioned to be a transgender male.He fought through many struggles as best he could, but his 21 years on Earth came to an end when he took his own life Nov. 23.A service for Antczak will be held virtually, with an in-person memorial to be planned after the pandemic. A &nbsp;was started in Antczak’s honor.Antczak worked as assistant director at the LGBT Center. He led the “safe zone” trainings and presentations to help organizations such as businesses, nonprofits, municipalities, churches and schools better serve their LGBT population. Through the pandemic, he facilitated four or five virtual support groups. He also facilitated some one-on-one support with young people and their parents.“He was very good at starting conversations to make people feel at home,” said Barb Farrar, the executive director of the LGBT Center, who served as Antczak’s supervisor for a year. “He was always very respectful and kind to people. He was so eloquent, so open about his experience and so smart. He could take a new or complicated subject and make it accessible to anybody.”He spoke at and helped contribute to an eventual ban on conversion therapy in the district.“His words helped paint a picture that was powerful,” Farrar said. “He was a champion of people who didn’t have a voice.”Besides being a leader and advocate in the LGBT community, he also advocated for other causes he cared about, joined in marches and moderated online forums. Advocating for these causes was what kept him going for as long as he did, Rana said.In the last several months, he was working with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) on a project for helping integrate and support trans people. He was also in meetings for tackling homelessness and meetings with civil rights activist Rev. Jesse Jackson.Brendan Saunders attended a meeting in which Antczak spoke about the LGBT community’s issues in housing, especially for trans people.He said he was struck by Antczak’s personal stories and alarming statistics about homeless rates among transgender people, like , largely due to familial rejection and discrimination, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality.“Some statistics you don’t realize until you see them in front of your face,” Saunders said. “He was very down to earth and made it OK for us to learn, understand and change.”If you or someone you know is in&nbsp;suicidal crisis or emotional distress, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline,&nbsp;800-273-8255, available 24 hours. The LGBT Center of SE Wisconsin can also be reached at 262-664-4100.Rana said Antczak was devoted to taking the things that brought him pain and turning them into advocacy so people in the future wouldn’t have to hurt the way he hurt.His past trauma, clinical depression and chronic illnesses were a lot to carry, Rana said.“It was a constant weight. He struggled every single day,” Rana said. “He expressed on a number of occasions that it was exhausting that he had to fight for his right to exist.”He had .“I had come to understand I would probably lose him this way,” Rana said, through tears.But she knew her son felt useful through advocacy. She said she’s blown away by how much he was able to accomplish. She wasn’t always aware of how much work he was doing, either — she’s still hearing from people she didn’t even know he was in contact with.Antczak had plans for the future, Rana said. After attending Case High School but graduating from the Wisconsin Virtual Academy, he was taking higher education classes at Gateway Technical College for graphic communications. He was thinking of switching his path to sociology after he had enjoyed previous sociology courses, especially with his interest in social justice.He wanted to devote his life to advocacy and was always talking about getting involved at the national level, Rana said: “It was clear to me that he wanted to live, he just wanted to live without hurting so much.”Your membership makes our reporting possible.His father, Mykal Antczak, died of COVID-19 in April. Before Mykal died, Rae could only look at his father through a glass window. It was clear he was in pain.They were unable to have any sort of goodbye.Rae didn’t know how to process it, Rana said. He was just starting to process his feelings and was able to talk about it only a month before his own death.That Nov. 23 morning, he seemed depressed, but not unsafe, Rana said. Rae had been telling his mother he wasn’t in danger.He had a pretty normal start to the day, eating his breakfast and drinking tea, his favorite drink. Then he went into his room to do some work. But there may have been a social trigger.“Somebody said something. I don’t think that he was planning it (suicide). He wouldn’t have been able to finish his breakfast. That’s not how his body processes it. Something happened while he was in his room by himself,” Rana said.Antczak sent a message to a friend to send a message to a friend to send the message to his mother.Then he was gone.While Rana thinks the cause may have been related to somebody saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, she doesn’t blame anybody for Antczak’s death and said he wasn’t selfish for taking his own life.“This is a demon he fought every single day,” she said. “Whatever it was, that last thing. It just found him in a time when he was carrying too much.”Rana said her son had a fantastic sense of humor. That sense of humor is what Esther Roberts, who is friends with Rana, said what she’s going to miss the most about Antczak.“His sense of humor was just right on point,” Roberts said. “He was a ray of sunshine and I’m going to miss that so much.”Antczak selected the first name Rae for that very reason; he wanted to be sunshine and hope in others’ lives and went by “Rae of Sunshine” often on the internet.Roberts had known Antczak for only a year, through Racine Pride, Black Lives Matter protests and other activism events.“He always brought a sense of calm; he was calm and thoughtful and smart,” Roberts said. “I could bring up anything, and he would listen and try to make it better.”Siddah Pinabella met Antczak virtually in July via the Umbrella Group of the LGBT Center and they became fast friends.The two never met in person but they had many Zoom calls, sometimes twice a week.Pinabella said she joined the Umbrella Group and the Free to Be: A Spiritual Journey group seeking a space in life and social acceptance of her religious beliefs: She is pagan.“On the first Zoom call, he (Antczak) asked me how my day was,” Pinabella said. “It was like a therapy session.”They had similar interests and hobbies, including Pokémon and anime — in his spare time, Antczak was an “absolute nerd,” Rana said.He liked (a Japanese term for people who cover songs and post them on the video-sharing services Nico Nico Douga and YouTube) music and culture, especially musical artists Mafumafu and After the Rain. He studied Japanese, loved manga and anime, played video games and helped moderate a Pokémon forum.Pinabella said she doesn’t make friends very easily, but Antczak made it really easy to be comfortable.“He was like my little buddy,” Pinabella said. “He did so many good things. I could go to him, text him any time and he wouldn’t judge. If I needed to vent, he was there.”Because of him, “I’m a much better person and I feel very glad that I met him.”Elliott Pierce met Antczak virtually through a community on Discord, an instant messaging, voice/video chat platform commonly used by gamers. They both loved to play Pokemon games, “Animal Crossing” and Jackbox Games titles.Pierce knew Antczak for a year, but the first time he met him, he said he knew he was meeting someone special.“I’m so lucky to have known him,” Pierce said. “He became one of my best friends quickly due to us being so much alike. I often told him that talking to him was like talking to my own reflection. He always knew just what to say and made my days that much brighter because of it.”Pierce is from Ohio, but said he plans to visit the Racine area for the in-person memorial service when a time and date is scheduled.“He had a heart of gold and treated everyone he met with patience. I find comfort in knowing that the light he shared with us will never go dim, and his impact will continue on.”Subscribe to our Daily Headlines newsletter.Rae Antczak, who died Nov. 23, speaks with audience members in June 2018 at Racine's inaugural Pride Day at City Hall.Rae Antczak shouts into a megaphone&nbsp;in front of Racine City Hall in support of LGBT Pride in June 2019.Rae Antczak poses while wearing a leather jacket in mid-October, having marked two years of testosterone hormone therapy.Rae Antczak, center, speaks at a news conference in June 2019 at the LGBT Center of SE Wisconsin regarding proposed legislation intended to help the LGBT community. Standing at right is Barb Farrar,&nbsp;executive director of the LGBT Center, and state Rep. Greta Neubauer, D-Racine, who shared that she identifies as queer in a June 2020 Journal Times editorial.© Copyright 2020 , 212 Fourth St. Racine, WI&nbsp;| &nbsp;|Powered by from .{{title}}{{summary}}You don't have any notifications.Get up-to-the-minute news sent straight to your device.Topics

Please subscribe to keep reading. You can cancel at any time.Already a subscriber?or .Loading&amp;hellp;Thanks for reading! Log in to continue.Enjoy more articles by logging in or creating a free account. No credit card required.You are the owner of this article.You have permission to edit this article.© 2020 Lee EnterprisesA Rae of sunshine: Leader of Racine's LGBT community remembered for advocacy, humor, welcoming natureShare thisEditor’s note: This story discusses suicide and may not be suitable for all readers.RACINE — When Rae Antczak was in second grade, he told his mother, Arian...

A Rae of sunshine: Leader of Racine's LGBT community remembered for advocacy, humor, welcoming nature

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